B E A U T I F U L
by TurnDreamsIntoReality
Summary: When everyone is sleeping, when it's dark as the night sky in my room. Door locked, shut tight. They're deep sleepers they'll never notice. Pure truth haunts me like the devil. Something I can't escape when it's so real and true.


**I've been working on this story for maybe a month and a half. And I know I should be right now working on my other story 'Can't let you go' but don't worry, I'll be posting a new chapter of that story soon. So if you haven't checked it out and reviewed that something you gotta do! But anyways I hope you guys like this little one-shot and review!**

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><p>"<em>Ha! <em>_Beautiful? As if! You aren't pretty, don't you get it?"_

_Not beautiful…_

_Not beautiful…_

Those words of truth haunt my mind. They clench tightly at my heart before I break._ I'm not beautiful_. It broke me to pieces to realize that. I'm not beautiful, never have been. I may appear strong and confident, but that's not me. That's just my cover up. I cry myself to sleep a lot of the time when I know no one can hear me.

When everyone is sleeping, when it's dark as the night sky in my room. Door locked, shut tight. They're deep sleepers they'll never notice. Pure truth haunts me like the devil. Something I can't escape when it's so real and true.

_**You're nothing.**_

Those words spit at me, tearing me up to shreds, the memories cut deep like a knife piercing through my heart.

I joke around being someone I'm not to hide the pain. No guy will ever love someone like me. Look at me I'm _garbage_. _He was right._ Guys don't even take a second look in my direction, but who would, right? My heart aches when I see my best friends with their boyfriends. It hurts because they're pretty enough. They're pretty enough to be with someone because they love them, but I'll never have that.

Mo is naturally beautiful with her long black waves that cascade down her shoulders perfectly and her perfect face and pretty brown eyes. And Olivia is beautiful with her golden blonde hair and dark brown eyes that seem like a whirl pool of chocolate, and her porcelain colored skin.

But me, I'm not beautiful, I don't have long luscious hair like Mo or chocolate eyes like Olivia. I have short choppy hair and my dead brown eyes that don't seem to shine for a moment.

Sometimes I feel like I hate myself, but I don't cut myself. What would be the point? It won't change how I look!

Me with my fake smile plastered across my face while I watch the one I love in someone else's arms because I will never be like her. She got him because she's beautiful.

I pull my knees closer to my chest and tuck my head between my legs as I let the never-ending tears cascade down. This was a regular thing for me, _crying_.

My room is pitch black filled with sorrow and depression. It was truly a terrible feeling. My aphotic curtains shielding me from the light of the full moon. Shielding me from any light. The light I never feel anymore, in me it's dark and vacant.

It's like walking in a graveyard on Halloween. Where even the slightest noise or movement would make you pee your pants. Where the wolf howls alone, where the bats hide, and where you can feel the spirits haunt around. Where everything is dead with not a single hint of life.

That's how I feel, everything _dead_. I'm dead inside.

I let myself look up to my ceiling. I let out a shaky breath, feeling my lips swell. I feel myself wince just a bit at the bruise on my upper arm.

"Ha." I mumble humorlessly.

The one time I felt beautiful for a moment it turned for the _darkest. _I delicately trace the bruise with my pointer finger, not caring about the stinging pain coursing through me. This bruise is a reminder…

I thought he was the one who could make me feel happy. Who would love me and care for me and tell me that I was beautiful. The words I longed to hear for the longest. I let myself fall, in hope that he would be there to catch me.

I thought he did, I gave myself to him and ended up _literally_ broken. I didn't catch myself and under his grip I was weak. His grip felt like death. I saw my life flash before my eyes and thought then and there that I was going to_ die_. My eyes had been clenched tight holding in the tears of pain. _I was going to die, I was going to die_, I chanted to myself believing it even more every time.

But then he let go, he drop me to the tiled floor, _laughing, mocking me_, but I was strong enough to let it happen only once.

But his eyes, his fierce, cruel, eyes still haunt my mind. I shudder whenever his icy, deadly, blue eyes enter my train of thought. And his cruel words still sting my heart. _Those words._

"_You aren't beautiful!"_

"_Ha, you thought I actually loved you?"_

"_No one could ever love someone like you!"_

His words cut deep. His words cut deeper than his hits. His words will leave a mark forever. And his maniacal laughter still intrudes my mind.

I swore to myself then and there, that I would never let myself fall for someone ever again. Because I thought no one is good. I thought he was different when he_ did_ tell me that I was pretty and perfect, and that I was the only girl in the world to him. _Bullshit._ It was all bullshit, but I believed him anyways. Oh, how I wish I didn't.

But he only proved my point. I made me believe that no matter how nice or how sweet or freaking caring one is it's all just a façade! _Fake_, they're nothing like that.

But me with my stupid self, _me_ with not good at shutting down my feelings end up falling all over again. And watching him with someone else kills me! It breaks me more and more every single time.

I'm not _strong_, or_ brave_, or made out of _metal_. I've been weak and sensitive ever since then. I disgust myself, I was never weak before! I was strong,_ courageous_, ready to stand up for myself whenever I needed to! But those feelings are just strangers now. _I_ feel like a stranger.

I never told anyone about it. I hide my bruises under dark long sleeved shirts and sweaters. I never wear shorts anymore, only _not-so-tight_ skinny jeans with my high black boots.

The darkness in my wardrobe reminds me of well, _me_. What I am inside.

I hate when I feel the tears trickle down, staining my rosy cheeks as they fall to my hands. I furiously wipe them away, but more start to pour. In the silence I hear a low tap echo through my room. I don't get up, but I'm slightly alarmed.

But it could have been anything, the wind blowing through the trees, or the owl that I always hear in the night. His bright yellow eyes don't seem like they blink, his eyes somehow manage to stay looking at mine. Sometimes it feels like we have silent staring contests and the owl always ends up winning.

His eyes fascinate me in someway I can't explain. I remember the time I moved here. It was a dark cloudy night. The moon was barely shining behind the thickness of the clouds. It was a dark quiet night; I remember being so angry and I slammed the door to this very room. I had been _so_ furious with my parents that I didn't want to speak to them. I just wanted to get away, _escape_.

I remember climbing out of my window and sitting on the top of my roof, staring at the little bit of stars that somehow managed to glow brightly. I heard a sound pierce through the air. The sound was strange, but it seemed familiar. Where I used to live I've never heard an owl before.

I had rested my head back down, but quickly shot it up when I heard it again. I strained my ear and waited to hear it 'hoot' again. Once it did, I realized that it was in a tree. I carefully stood up on the roof and slowly -and with much carefulness- walked towards the tree. I abruptly stopped, feeling my heart rate pick up when I felt that I was about to fall.

I had sat back down; legs crossed, and looked closely through the tree. And that's when I saw it. Bright haunting eyes that seemed to look deep into your soul. I was startled and almost jumped, but relaxed myself. I had pulled out my phone for better light; I saw its small body.

I was _fascinated_, I'd never seen any wild creature this up close. It was definitely a sight to see. I was so curious that I decided to move just a tad bit closer, but my sudden movement seemed to have scared him off as he flapped his wings in one swift motion and escaped.

But it didn't leave forever, because I remember that the next night it came back.

My tears had finally ceased and only small hiccups were left. I slowly and stiffly stand up from my uncomfortable position on the floor and stand by my window. The curtains still shut tight, so I push them out of the way.

The ablaze of the moon seeps through my windows almost fiercely. I gently turn the knob of my balcony door and open it. The breeze of the cool night takes over me and I feel myself shiver. My bare feet take their first steps on the cold pavement. I quietly close the door behind me and walk towards the tree I loved so much.

And as always I see my friend Mr. Owl, with his blazing eyes piercing through mines. He's stiff as a rock and his light feathers ruffled in certain areas. He seems more serious tonight. My eyes stare at his as we begin our nightly contest. I shiver and wrapped my arms around me and sniffle sadly.

I lost our staring competition as _usual,_ and stare back up at the stars that look beautiful tonight.

"_Beautiful_." Beautiful is such a lovely word that I'll never take part in being. The word hangs in the air like the smell of pine that hangs heavy in the forest. My heart tightens with sadness and longing. And cue the tears that suddenly start forming at the corner of my eyes. My vision turns cloudy as I avert my eyes to the lake. I had the perfect view of the lake not too far from here. The moon was glistening the water so perfectly, like something in a movie.

I feel suddenly a gush of wind near me. I turn my body quickly around to the spot, but only see shadows. My stance turns firm and I raise my arms above my waist. I remember my uncle once telling me to always have your arms above your waist because you never know when someone is going to sneak up on you. But if you have your arms up and ready, you have a better and quicker chance in escaping.

I hear rustling in the trees and immediately start freaking out. My eyes turn to look at the tree to see that my friend is gone. The noise must have scared him away. This only gets me more worried. I knew that I should have gone inside and now was the perfect time before something would pop out like in horror films I force Mo and Olivia to watch with me.

I would have quickly left, but my toes felt glued to the ground. While every pulse in my body was screaming 'GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS PLACE, YAMADA!' as the rustling continued, I stayed glued to the ground like if someone had drown the floor with superglue.

A **thud**. I hear a thud like noise land close by me. And I suddenly feel myself freeze. _The hell you're not supposed to __**freeze**__! You're supposed to get out of here! _

And that's when I feel it, a small tap land on my shoulder. _That's it I'm going to die. Someone is going to rape me! Someone is here to kidnap me! This is the end! _My mind was running with all these horrible thoughts. I shakily turn to face my predator and I'm suddenly filled with anger.

Anger, but relief. I push my intruder away with much force as I yell "What the hell!" he seems to have been taken aback by my suddenness, but has a small sheepishly grin growing on his face.

I stare back at him bewildered. "What in heaven's name are you doing here at 2:00am?" I hissed though gritted teeth. He stays silent as he leans against the railing, arms crossed, facing the lake. The silence felt awkward to say the least. I stayed my distance from him and crossed my arms over my chest. I was going to press on once again when I hear him mumble something.

"Huh?" I asked not catching him clearly. He cleared his throat and spoke "I wanted to see you. I haven't seen _you_ in a long time."

He doesn't look at me, but I give him a confused look. "What are you talking about? You saw me yesterday." I scoffed silently. I could feel the whistling of the cool breeze swish through my hair ever so slightly. I wrap my arms closer to myself, feeling cold, colder than normal.

I see him run his fingers through his hair with a sigh and he finally turns to look at me. His eyes held something I haven't seen before; I feel his eyes bore mine. I felt overwhelmed by the seriousness in his eyes and quickly looked down.

"No, I didn't see _you_ yesterday." He keeps on emphasizing the word 'you' like it some sort of obvious clue that apparently I can't figure out. I shake my head and slowly walk up to the railing and like him, I lean against it.

"Sorry, but I have know idea what you're talking about." I say quietly not looking at him, but at the lake. I hear him huff quietly and stands next to me. From the corner of my eye I can see that his eyes are on me. "Stella?" I hear him whisper my name, sending shivers down my back. I don't look at him; instead I softly let out a "Huh?" he stays quiet for a bit seeming to ponder over what he will say next. "Stella, can you please look at me?"

My eyebrows furrow. "Why are you here?" I don't oblige his request, but ask a question myself. "I already told you why I'm here."

I shake my head "Why are you here?" I press on, but louder this time. He knew I didn't believe his excuse or answer because he sighed. "I wanted to see you." Again. The same reply he says it again. "Why?" I muse as I rest one arm on the railing, my eyes never leaving the lake. I touch one of my cheeks and feel that it's still really hot. Most likely from the tears. And I'm sure my lips were still red as my eyes. Which is why I'm so grateful that it's so dark out here.

I drop my hand down as I hear his reply. "Because I missed you." After hearing that sentence come out of his mouth, I literally felt myself freeze under his gaze. _I missed you._ He couldn't really mean that, could he? Since when does anybody miss me? No, no he's most likely just saying that. _Don't fall for it!_ I close my eyes, feeling my eyes start to water. I shake my head.

"Stella, I…"

"No, don't say that!" I suddenly exclaim interrupting him. I let go of the railing at stand at the other side of the balcony, finally facing him. I see his eyes turn into one of confusion as I wipe my tears away ferociously. My eyes wander up to the ceiling as more tears trickled down.

I feel something touch my shoulder and I find out that it was him. He had moved to where I was, he was standing right in front of me, his face only inches from mine.

"Stella, what's wrong?"

He gently put a hand on my cheek and wiped away my tears delicately like if I would break at any moment. I shivered at his touch and dropped my head down, not wanting to look at him.

"I-it's nothing…" I whispered, my voice coming out quivering. I felt his hand grasp my chin and tilt it up. Now, I was face to face with him. His eyes seemed to be searching for something in mine.

"Of course it's something. It can't just be 'nothing'."

**Tick tock. Tick tock**. Time kept passing and I hadn't said a word after his statement. His hand had moved from my chin to my cheek and his eyes never left mine. "Stella, please say something." He pleaded. He apparently really wanted to know what was wrong with me, but why the hell would I tell him?

I shake my head under his touch as a simple gesture of 'no'. He sighs and lets go of my cheek and goes back to his position by the railing.

"Do you want to know why I really came?"

He looks up at the night sky then back at me. I don't move from the spot I was in and nod. "_I love you._"

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, pump the breaks! Rewind! Did I hear him right? No, I couldn't have had.

Time seems to stop for me as I let what he said sink in. He didn't mean that, did he? My eyes are still wide and I feel a lump in my throat. No, this cannot be real. This, this must be a dream. Yup it has to be. Only one person has said that to me and it was all fake. What if this is fake? I'll probably just close my eyes and when I reopened them I'll be standing here alone with no one and know that it was like a daydream or something.

He clears his throat, waking me from my thoughts "Stella," he sighs "now would be a good time to say something." I sniffle and walk up to him until I'm atleast a foot away and say softly "You don't love me." my eyes start to whelm up with unshed tears.

"Of course I do." He pressed, now grabbing my hand and squeezing it a little. My heart starts feeling heavy as I continue with the next words that come out strained from my warm lips "No, I mean you can't, as in why would you love me? How could you?" my vocal chords feel constricted so I whisper out the last part.

"How could I not? You're everything I want, Stella. I truly love you."

_Everything he wants?_

"No," I wiggle my hand out of his and turn away from him "How can you possibly love someone like _me_?" I emphasize the word 'me' with a hint of disgust.

"Someone like you?" he questions, voice carrying confusion. "Yes Charlie, me. Why would you love someone who's not beautiful?" I put a hand to my heart grasp hold of it.

"Whoa, not beautiful? Stella, who the hell told you that you aren't beautiful?" Charlie turns me to face him "Stella, the truth is you are the most beautiful girl I've ever met."

"No, I'm not." I protest. "Why would you say that?" he asks.

"Because it's true."

He shakes his head in disagreement "Who ever told you that is a jackass liar, because you are freaking perfect. I wouldn't want to love anyone that isn't you." He words seem so sincere and his eyes held nothing but truth and_ love_. And for some reason I think I believed him.

"You think I perfect?" warm tears start falling down to my cheeks.

"Stells, you are" he starts, kissing me on the forehead then looking at me with a genuine smile, wiping away my tears.

"beautiful."

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><p><strong>Yeah I know, terrible ending. I just didn't know how to end it. I just hope it didn't totally suck. I finished this like at 12:30 am so it's probably not my best. But I hope you enjoyed it and you know… the review button is kind of lonely… *hint hint* haha anyways love you guys and goodnight. :D<strong>


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